So how often do you think that Men are completely hard to understand, hard to deal with, or hard to even get along with sometimes? Me? I personally think about this million times. Ranging from father, brothers, boyfriends, to fiance. I can never understand them. I do know that sometimes they are not meant to be understood, but still, what the heck?

My fiance’s bday is today, so I really feel like it’s not a good time to argue with him. What’s there to argue about you asked? Well, we’re currently living thousands miles away from each other, I live in Bali and he live in Chicago. Yeah, I know. It’s not easy. Since my night is his morning, his bday is already over here, while he just started it. I jumped online after a hectic day, to create the gift series like i usually did for him. First I create a custom bday artwork. And I put on a nice dress and style my hair a bit to chat online through skype as it is his special day, at least it was the plan. But… he reasonably couldn’t.

Am I sad, yes! Completely, but I tried to control myself. So here i am now thinking of how patient women can be for their man’s happiness. I guess being patient would be the price that every woman has to pay to keep them sane from a relationship? Hm… what’s your story?

I have waited for this time to come. It’s SUMMER! Finally got here in Poland. Though I have to complain that it’s actually kinda hot, just like in Bali. Okay may be not that hot, but I love it anyway. I can wear my Bali clothes, i.e. shortpants and tank tops

So, I haven’t update this personal blog for like what? Two months? Yeah, I’ve been struggled to get my self back on top again. Now that I think about it, I think I like it better when I’m in the middle of it :p So here’s some of my updates:

• I got more designs on my portfolio, you can check it on my design web, deviantART, or Behance.
• I’m a guest writer now, so if you like to read about graphic design or designs overall, check more info about it on my blog.
• Frespiration! (my baby project) now has an official team
• I’m not depressed anymore :p
• And I get a new hairstyle!

Talk about Summer, I notice people love leaving the house for weeks to go to music festival and other outdoor activity. I know the exact reason why now. It’s a nice day outside, the sun shines brightly (unlike in the winter and most of the spring). Kinda feel bad looking outside with the bright sun shines but not going outside.

But worry not, my fiance and I have bunch of plans for this summer before we leave Poland on August. Though, now that I think about it, what other things I can do outside during the summer. Something I should do. If you have activities that you think I should do in Poland this summer, I’m all ears. So here are few things my fiance and I are planning to do:

1. Bicycling Day: I haven’t been riding a bike since I was in Junior High, I kinda miss it, it’s fun. I remember the first time I learn how to ride a bike. It feels like getting a huge cotton candy :p So my fiance promised me that we will have the bicycling day later this month or early next month.
2. Shopping to the big traditional market: There are few traditional markets here in this city (Wroclaw). Each city has few of them (usually), and you can find anything here (of course cheaper price than the mall offers you). So I’m thinking of getting something souvenirs for my family and friends.
3. Go to waterpark: This, I’m not so sure, the thing is that it’s kinda expensive to get into the waterpark, specially in the Summer, but we’ll see though
4. Attend a Polish Wedding: My fiance is invited to 2 Polish wedding this summer. One from his cousin and the other one is from his friend. Both of them will be held in 2 different cities. I’m really excited for this, but not sure with the wedding by the end of this month since my fiance will have to defending his master.
5. Picnic day: I love picnic day, sitting outside under the trees and eating lunch or cakes….. I WANT! :p
6. ?

So that’s all, what’s your ideas or plans to do in the summer?

Have you ever stuck in one place and wish that you will find a way to get out of that place and reach the stars again? Feels like that you tried your every best for it but still no hope at all. Well, I’m kinda in that place right now. People says that there will always be the white and the black, the top and the bottom. I should admit that being in the top can be really spoiling.

All the things that I’ve been working for the past five months was worth it. In the beginning I achieved more than I expected. After a while, I got a bit spoiled and I guess here comes the opposite part of it. I’m no longer sitting at the top of my life circle (for now). And it hurts my pride as an independent woman sometimes. I don’t like the feeling. But the more I fight it, the worse it get into me. How come sitting at the bottom of your life circle can be very painful?

The 24 hours a day make me feel so limited. Living with my fiance gave me more challenge to organize my schedule even better, I’m still trying to figure that out. After all, this is the first time I completely have to live my life on my own (plus with my fiance). It’s probably a bit late, but I now realize how hard it is to be (future) wife. There’s so many things that the woman in a family has to do. From cooking to cleaning. From folding clothes that has been thrown around the house to remembering important things. I personally think this is a new life experience before I get married next year. Though the part that I’m a bit abandoning my design work really feels like it stabbed me right in my heart. How do the great women organize themselves? Managed to get everythings done? And become successful on what they do along the way?

Now that I think about this, I wonder where my life will take me next? To the top again, where I can feel more secure and happy. Or stuck in the bottom where I mostly feel depressed about it. I really wish I can be a little bit near the top. And I’ll keep trying my best on what I do. Not trying to be a super woman, but at least I can be like some woman.